Autism Dad: When my heart smiles (and aches)

Labor Day with the boys. 10 to 4 didn’t leave much time. Didn’t go to Chuck E. Cheese, nor to the beach. No sleep-over, no time for cuddling or to see Papa. So why am I floating on Cloud 9?

Because at the park I got to see Ryan befriend one of the nicest little girls, Lorraine, with the most radiant smile. So proud of the way he played with her.  And she with him.  Don’t you think they seem very comfortable in each other’s space? Boy meets Girl. Free, authentic, and without agenda.

From the park I took them to the McDonald’s playground, where Ben became more engaged than I’ve seen him in a long time, signs he is rebounding from his summer regression.

Ben gave Daddy an abundant share of hugs and kisses. Later, as I was walking back to my car and his mother was buckling him in, I heard Ben say, “Go with Daddy?” Teresa didn’t get it, and asked him to repeat himself. “Go with Daddy?” he said again, as both question and statement. As I drove away, my heart smiled. My connection with Ben is growing beautifully in spite of the obstacles. But at the same time my heart ached. For I was reminded of the consequences of divorce, and the confusion and uncertainty that is visited upon our children.



This entry was posted in September 2011 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Autism Dad: When my heart smiles (and aches)

  1. Kara says:

    Embrace and savor those moments, they are so sweet. We are ending our summer visit with my man’s littlest guy and it’s bittersweet -divorce does stink, especially for kids. Have you seen book “Mom’s House, Dad’s House”? Isolina Ricci – Here is the link

    Happy Monday!

  2. zaft says:

    Integrity is a sacred thing nothing lasts but this.

  3. Grace says:

    Great pictures, as always. The boys look happy.

    • Autism Dad says:

      Hey Grace! Thanks so much, I know how you love the boys! They are doing really well and on Labor Day, they had a blast just being outdoors and running around with that little girl.
      I was bummed to find out that the girl was not from San Diego, but LA, and was going home that night. I would have liked to hook them up for a playdate!

      Be well!

  4. lorenakoran says:

    I understand what you mean about divorce. My ex is retiring from the military next month and will be here to visit the kids by the middle of the month. He doesn’t yet know where he will be living and i have really been trying to convince him to move close by cause the kids miss him. However, so far he is planning on living in his home state that he says is “only” nine miles away. He feels it is practical he can get free education if he goes to school there. He makes life difficult for me but still the kids need him. I wish he could understand that. He doesn’t seem to get that one day they will be grown and he won’t be able to go back.

    It is wonderful when our kids make friends that they don’t send away crying or being tatted on every ten seconds. That’s awesome! Love the pics as always!

    • Autism Dad says:

      Hi Loren: Thanks for your sharing your personal experience. I am sure your ex has reasons for the decisions he makes. It sounds like he is a hard worker and hopefully is helping to support you and your kids. It’s not that I’m a great dad, it’s just that I’m an out of work dad, so I can devote more time (but never enough) to my boys. But I hope your ex sees the light and shows more interest in his kids. You take care and thanks again for your super-nice comment!!!

  5. lorenakoran says:

    I seemed to have spelling issues today, I reread what I wrote and there are several mistakes. Like tattled not tatted. sigh, sorry about that.

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